Do you want to learn to write good and do other stuff good too? Look no further because this surefire guide to good writing will give you everything you need!
First things first: How to Sit.
Very good. Now, you will need a few things in order to do your writing.
As you write, observe the following rules–noting well the prize that awaits the one who keeps them:
Do you want to be fancy? If you want to write good, you need to practice these three hands:
No Comic Sans? No, not if you want to write good.
Now you’re out of ink, and you don’t want to buy the proprietary ink cartridges that go with your printer. They’re super expensive and last 2 minutes. So whatever shall you do!? Make your own, of course!
But I’m fancy! I don’t want plain ink! Very well then, write with gold.
Does your employer refuse to let you burn more coal in the workplace? Is your ink freezing? This trick will solve your problem:
Are you on Her Majesty’s Secret Service? Do you need to send secret messages that are readable only by firelight? Do you also make powerful elven rings?
I hope you’re not on the Secret Service for this guy…
Last things last. Tired of moles? Amaze them with Onions, Garlic, and Leeks!
Now you can write good, and do other things good, too. Share with your friends and proliferate the goodness.